Pope Benedict XVI resigns - live blog

12:25pm Monday 11th February 2013 in News

Comments(24)

bobby47 says...
12:57pm Mon 11 Feb 13

I'd like to be Pope. Why can't I be Pope?
It's who you bloody know nowadays. I know they've got to advertise it and it'll be posted in all EU job centres but I'll bet they'll ignore equal opportunities, light their little fire and send bloody smoke up the papal bloody chimney without giving me or anyone else an interview or even a backward glance.
I've got the Latin. I did it at School and I believe in God. I mean, that's gotta give me a head start on most applicants.
Contraception? Ive got no problem in saying, 'No. Each tiny sperm deserves a shot at life'.
No! I tick all the boxes but I won't get a bloody look in.
It's who you bloody know! Do they embrace difference? Im bloody different. Thats another box I tick.
In fact, the more I think about it, the more convinced Im the right person for the job.
Mind, I wouldn't be a Pope who'd just go with the flow and not rock the boat. I've got ideas. Good ones. I wouldn't wear that bloody costume for starters. I mean, you'd be a fool to walk home from a night out, blind drunk clutching a dripping kebab and not expect some fool shouting,' Oh here he comes. Mr Big Time Charlie landed on his feet and becoming Pope'.
No, it's who you bloody know nowadays!

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TwoWheelsGood says...
1:08pm Mon 11 Feb 13

b47 - have you taken your eye off the ball - or rather, off your nemesis Jarvis Cockup? Not content with king, you now want to be gods right hand man on earth! Is it just the bullet proof Range Rover you're after, to charge across the Castle Green towards JC as he fires a couple of rounds at you from the Council blunderbuss?

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bobby47 says...
2:13pm Mon 11 Feb 13

TWG, Well that's where you're wrong my old friend.
A King cannot carry out an excorcism whereas a Pope can.
If I got the job and for the sake of argument lets say that I did, then I'd get me papal garments on together with all the paraphernalia normally associated with a holy man and I'd tip up at Brockington House and I'd summon Jarvis to see me.
He'd kiss me papal ring and then I'd tell him that I was excorcising his demons.
I'd have a bucket of holy bloody Lugg water, a few baseball bats, the Old Testament and I'd get to work on driving out Satan.
And.....it'd take days!

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dippyhippy says...
5:32pm Mon 11 Feb 13

Jarvis kissing your papal ring, King Bobby? Now THAT would be front page news !

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WYSIATI says...
5:54pm Mon 11 Feb 13

What a great idea - Pope Bobby 47th. I suspect it would be a paypal ring but maybe you could have a Lord of the Rings set and go all out to be ruler of middle earth too?

Best bit about that job is that you get elected (not strictly universal suffrage but close enough) and no need to leave.

Of course the pay's a bit bad if you're used to the sort of riches the council apparently splashes around - but the bullet proof range rover, museum full of gold and jewels, palace in Italy, gifts from the masses might take some of the pain away. And a billion and a half catholics around the world waiting on your every word - what's not to like?

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WYSIATI says...
6:00pm Mon 11 Feb 13

Off theme but does anyone know what happened to the various articles on gay marriage and now racist graffiti which appear to have disappeared?

Is it the HT fearing prosecution or fearing having to provide evidence to the police or something else?

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bobby47 says...
6:10pm Mon 11 Feb 13

Wysiati, Youve given me two consonants, namely the letters 't' and 'h'. Take them back!
I know what your all thinking. 'He's never going to be made Pope'.
Well that may well be but don't make light of demonic possession which would explain some of the decisions Jarvis has made.
I've researched this stuff and its fascinating. This book Im reading now titled, ' A simple twelve step guide to carry our an Exorcism on a Council Leader' explains the nature and beguiling traits of the Succubus and
the Incubus.
It's all pretty straightforward and as long as the Lugg water has been blessed the recipient could survive this awful medieval practice.

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WYSIATI says...
6:29pm Mon 11 Feb 13

Bobby - no charge for a t or an h - put them on your expenses.

What did you do with all the other Bobbies - 1-46 - all cut with the new police commissioner?

The more I think about it the more suitable it seems - Pope Bobby - the pontiff able to pontificate at will

As Pope can you tell me where the other threads have gone?

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bobby47 says...
6:36pm Mon 11 Feb 13

Wysiati, they just pulled the plug. One or two comments were near the knuckle if the reader wanted to be offended but I didn't think anyone had overstepped the mark.
Posters were simply expressing themselves. Anyway, Ubique has ridden off for a rest and so am I.
Take care mate.

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Grid Knocker says...
7:39am Tue 12 Feb 13

Good riddance Ratzinger. Go and join old Rowan 'Beardie' Williams on that pile of useless prelates. Though I doubt that you'll find yourself a cosy little number at Cambridge University.

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SchizTroll says...
8:47am Tue 12 Feb 13

good riddance tired old wafflers more like. if your really taking a rest bobby make a nice long one could you. yawn.

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Werintrouble says...
11:26am Tue 12 Feb 13

Schiztroll, is that it? Your contribution is allways the same. You come on and try and pick an argument. First it's Biomech and now King/Pope Bobby.
Add to the debate or drivel and tripe rather than just trolling for an argument.
Just go away and leave us be.

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Shadowstorm says...
11:43am Tue 12 Feb 13

I think "the troll" may just be getting annoyed because no one is rising to the bait.

I like "the King" and how he rules.

Long live the King.

And whats wrong with waffles Schiz, i like waffles - they taste gooooooooood

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SchizTroll says...
9:36am Wed 13 Feb 13

Werintrouble wrote:
Schiztroll, is that it? Your contribution is allways the same. You come on and try and pick an argument. First it's Biomech and now King/Pope Bobby.
Add to the debate or drivel and tripe rather than just trolling for an argument.
Just go away and leave us be.
King? Pope? Are you lot bonkers?

Anyway point is theres about six of you sitting on here moaning on, spouting a load of old tired rubbish on stuff you don't know nothing about and you tell me to 'leave us be'? Dream on mr. this is a public forum so if you put yourselves up for comment your gonna have to take the flack. who was it talking about free speech?

basically your just a bunch of nasty trolls yourself without a good word for anyone / antyhing. well hears some news. people are fed up with your sort. keep goinig with the rubbish and expect plenty more

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Werintrouble says...
11:18am Wed 13 Feb 13

Schiztroll, you've driven me away. Im finished on here. Enjoy your moment in the spotlight. When bobby and the others come back they will deal with you better than me.

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bobby47 says...
12:36pm Wed 13 Feb 13

Bloody Hell. I'm on strike and I've had to break through the picket line to address this.
There'll be no talk of 'dealing' with anybody. we all have things to say and were all entitled to express our views.
As for my good friend, Schiztroll, you express your view and continue to do it. You certainly won't offend me and I look forward to seeing more of your posts.
That said, try a little more to air your view in a polite fashion. If for example you are addressing the issue of 'me' and you want to say, 'this bobby 47 is an idiot'. say it in a different way, such as, 'He's no King of mine and I question whether or not he should be allowed to roam free without two well built psychiatric nurses clutching his forearms'.
As for Biomech and the others they are all good people with very different views so just try a little to accommodate these friends of mine.
My very warmest regards to you my good friend.
Now Im going back to the picket line!!!

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littlewhitebull says...
12:52pm Wed 13 Feb 13

Having spent yesterday shriving my soul (the fuzz didn't seem to care), I am now off to spend 40 days in the wilderness fasting! The 40 nights I shall spend feasting in the foothills of the Black Mountains (hope the Bulls Head at Craswall is still open). I have burned a few copies of Herefordshire Doesn't Matter, and used the charred remains to place a cross on my forehead, as required by my new religion.
Who would I like as the new Pope? Well, I am going to be controversial and suggest that a woman be elected!
I will not cast my vote for Bobby47, as he is the greatest King what we have had.
Let another country provide the Pope. England provided a Pope in the form of Nick Breakspear as Adrian IV, who went on the invent the intravenous drip.
We can't expect another turn after just 854 years have passed.
So brothers and sisters, please think of me in your prayers as I brave the elements in pursuit of purity of soul.

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bobby47 says...
2:38pm Thu 14 Feb 13

Littlewhitebull, Yes I'll be thinking of you as you explore the depths of your tortured soul in search of inner peace.
The Black Mountains is an excellent place to purge your inner demons and oft used by those who want to experience the cold, harsh weather, psilocybin mushrooms and of course the joy of running around naked indecently exposing yourself to the many varieties of beasts and creatures who have made this bleak habitat their home.
You'll have the time of your life up there, you'll never regret it and you'll emerge a shadow of your former self and all the better for it if my view is worth a jot.

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Mr.Herefordian says...
11:35pm Sat 16 Feb 13

Can you people speak in English and not Latin as I have no idea what you are on about, du.

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littlewhitebull says...
12:35pm Sun 17 Feb 13

Nolite solliciti. Videtur jocosum Postings sunt mere indicium statu lingua sed torpet, mente. Rex Bobby facit incredibiliter mira ineo. Vivat rex. Commodo permissum Sanctae Romanae Ecclesiae catholicae eligendi sapienter.

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wyesider says...
12:54pm Sun 17 Feb 13

I do think that Little white bull should go back to school and study his declensions!
An old joke we used at school in my day (many moons ago) concerning Latin was:
What did the verb say to the noun?

"I'd ask you to conjugate, but I'm afraid you'd decline."

Sorry to correct you Little white bull.

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bobby47 says...
3:10pm Sun 17 Feb 13

The Posts from Littlewhitebull and Wyesider have gone some way to explaining the misery that we felt when, after Woodwork we dragged our satchels along the corridor knowing we were to be given another Latin lesson.
You younger Posters will have no comprehension of what it was like to study something that we knew then and still know now, would be of no bloody use to us throughout our long lives.
Anyway, congratulations Littlewhitebull on the birth of the tripletts, getting five and the bonus number on the lottery and the success of your prized whippet, 'Rex The Incredible' at the recent Whitecross Whippet Fancy'ers Association meeting.

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littlewhitebull says...
3:11pm Sun 17 Feb 13

You can correct me as much as you like, Wyesider. I was always rubbish at Latin at school. It was all Greek to me. I always thought the ablative case was that bloke that played for Liverpool.

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littlewhitebull says...
5:03pm Sun 17 Feb 13

Bobby47, please stop confusing me - not to mention alarming me at my age! I couldn't even gather the courage to pop up stairs and try and find the triplets after my lunch!
I'm definitely going back to the Black Mountains to shrive my immense sins after the massive shocks you have just given me, sire.
And yes, I shall repent all my sins - which could be a long haul.

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