Jess Childs on how NOT to plan your Herefordshire wedding (From Hereford Times)

Discussing trade secrets can be bad for your health...

3:37pm Friday 4th September 2009

• Print
• Email
• Comments(0)

WARNING: discussing your wedding with fellow brides-to-be can cause considerable emotional distress.

Regular readers will know that through a mixture of choice, necessity and unashamed control freakish-ness, I am doing most of the organising for our wedding next March.

The H2B is really wonderful at discussing anything I actually want him to but has basically left it alone (partly to make life easier I rather guiltily suspect) but also because he is generally a very busy person anyway, so it makes sense that it falls to me.

So far I have a dress maker, a band booked (and at a negotiated price - result!), a caterer who is ready for us to taste a few things, material for the bridesmaids’ dresses and a mock up of one made by my mum on the way, 56 jam jars, 18 vases, four packets of rose petals and four car ribbons. Those who know me well would probably tell you that I never miss an opportunity to blow my own trumpet anyway, but I thought that was pretty damn good for one little lady, a mobile phone and a laptop. You only have to look at my last entry to see I was as smug as a bug in an ivory gown.

Even a recent move to a run-down semi that promises at least three months of wallpaper scraping, carpet cleaning and paint-stripping could not deter me from feeling rather amazingly in control of everything. Until I crossed paths with an acquaintance who literally has just her favours left to decide on - and is getting married three months LATER than I am.

Worse still, said bride is also hiring the same venue and knows far more than I ever did about it and what is provided. As I listened, in awe of this amazing creature, mouth agog, I could feel my blood pressure rising, the colour flushing my face, the palpitations in my chest getting worse. At home (surrounded by cardboard boxes, piles of clothes and some really bad wallpaper) I began to panic. Panic about the fact I haven’t even sent out Save The Dates yet even though there’s only six months to go. Panic that I’ve done nothing about flowers yet. Panic that I haven’t decided on transport, panic that I haven’t bought stuff for the men to wear, or bridesmaid accessories, or gifts for them, or shoes for me or anything.

The next day, I mentioned this to my best friend over a glass of wine. “What’s a Save The Date anyway?” she said.

“I just thought it was something I should do, to make sure people turn up,” I mumbled. The expression turned to perplexion. “But everyone you want to be there wouldn’t miss it for the world would they?” she replied, “even if they only found out a fortnight before and the main meal was burger and chips.”

Quite. Blow what you’re meant to be doing - and do want you want to be doing. I am, and whatever gets done, or doesn’t get done, I’ll still be marrying a wonderful man, in a wonderful setting, with some wonderful friends and family around us. I’m beginning to realise that this really is all that matters.

Best websites this month : www.thevintageweddingdresscompany.com - Prices start at £1000 (average) and go up to £4,000 (bit pricey) but you’re guaranteed to get something a bit different . www.weddingandpartydresses.co.uk - Local firm (Eign Street, Hereford) offering the complete package - a one stop shop for you, your man and your mum no matter how big or small you are.