Hurrah! I'm getting married! (and trying not to get too carried away) (From Hereford Times)

Hurrah! I'm getting married! (and trying not to get too carried away)

4:59pm Wednesday 11th March 2009

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So, hurrah! I’m getting married! I have reached the point of no return. I am defying my college critics who likened my future to that of Bridget Jones just because I owned a blue jumper and had blonde hair - and I have exactly one year in which to plan the big day.

At 27 I have waited longer than some and, having been with my partner for five years, thought I was way past the old ‘perfect-meringue’ scenario but - what do you know? - apparently women are genetically programmed to turn into the stereotypical Bridezilla the moment their boyfriend proposes. And I’m ashamed to admit it, but I was no different. I’ll be honest with you, and I’m hoping this is a natural reaction, after we had chosen the diamond all hell broke loose.

Everything I had envisaged he didn’t like. He was thinking village halls - I was thinking stately homes, he was thinking blue and cream - I was thinking pink and white. Then my mum would suggest something, then my best mate would suggest something, then he wouldn’t like it and I couldn’t understand why. In the end we were both blue.

Eventually, of course, it changed. I wish I could say it was love, I wish I could say it was romance - but at the end of it all what changed it the most was money. Because when you tell a venue you’re having a party they say ‘great, it’ll cost you this much’, but when you tell them you’re getting married they rub their hands together and say ‘great, that’s double what we normally charge’. I, for one, was having none of it, and neither was the other half.

Sadly or not, this little revelation was what it took to bring us together again, because then we went from striving for what we thought a ‘wedding’ should be to planning a celebration that suited us, and since then it’s been nothing but good fun.

I’m not saying everyone has this predicament (personal circumstances mean we are paying for a good proportion of it ourselves) but I’m betting that even the richest of daddies sticking with tradition could be looking to shave a buck or two off their little girl’s big day in the current economic climate.

So, if you’re newly engaged the first thing you need to decide on is your venue, both for the marriage and the reception/after party.

When I was looking I found two major rules of thumb were most effective: a) Don’t go for hotels unless you’ve got a decent pot of money - or if you do barter (businesses need bookings right now) b) Always, always, always tell them you’re a local person if you live in the area you’re getting married in because word of mouth counts for a lot.

We looked at every single hotel and mansion in our area - places well-known for weddings - with the top spots being Llangoed Hall in the Brecon Beacons and Whitney Court at Whitney-on-Wye, and these rules were effective when discussing prices at both. But in the end (because we are getting married in our local church) we went with a local barn and former restaurant because it was cheaper and we decided affording a honeymoon was just as important to us as the wedding itself. And, most importantly, because we both liked it (and not just me!).

The difference is we hired the venue only - at a hotel you have to buy the food too, and this undoubtedly will be the biggest cost of most weddings. Now we are getting caterers in we are in complete control (whereas hotels generally offer you a ‘package’) and the figures have really dropped. So if you are on a budget be creative and scour the internet too for different places where you could provide your own food.

But most importantly - don’t have a dream and stick to it. Go with the flow, see what’s out there - and decide on something that’s right for both of you. Don’t learn the hard way like me!

Top website for local venues: www.weddingvenues.com