Top quality freelance writers needed for your Hereford Times

11:52am Friday 1st February 2013 in News

Your Hereford Times is looking for additional top quality writers to join its list of freelance contributors.

We are particularly interested in hearing from people with journalism qualifications and experience, especially in the areas of entertainments and arts (but not reviewers) and sport.

We are also looking to expand our group of dedicated local correspondents, so if you are at the centre of your local community and would like to provide us with the news from your area please get in touch. Please email a brief resume of your experience, qualifications and interests to the editor fiona.phillips@herefordtimes.com.

Comments(17)

sickofrain says...
12:34pm Fri 1 Feb 13

Presumably you would like them to be able to spell too?

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dippyhippy says...
3:58pm Fri 1 Feb 13

I stongly feel that Bobby 47 should be offered his own weekly column ! Then his tales of duels at dawn with Jarvis,dressing in his granny's frock and digging for Studmarsh in the wrong place, could be enjoyed by a much wider audience ! Actually,why not print a selection of posters comments ? They are funnier than a lot of things published,and our take on things reflect a lot of peoples.

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dippyhippy says...
4:38pm Fri 1 Feb 13

Having just had a quick squiz around the Letters page, I see I am not the first to think this is a great idea !

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WYSIATI says...
8:48pm Fri 1 Feb 13

yes - need a name for it - the king's column? bobby's blast?

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fmrbill says...
8:59pm Fri 1 Feb 13

Here here so I can read it whilst outside lambing at 3am give me some joys in life ))))

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Biomech says...
9:39pm Fri 1 Feb 13

Oh look Onlooker, my points seem to have been valid and, quite possibly, had an impact.

Kudos to HT for tackling the issue.

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bobby47 says...
11:47pm Fri 1 Feb 13

My dear good friends. Whilst I am flattered by your kind comments I do think some perspective is now required here.
If this clamour for me to be showered with celebrity, a make up trailer, a star on my door, a cravat and a crimson satin smoking jacket that Noel Coward would have dressed in, I really do think that we should remember what we actually are.
A bunch of ranters and ravers who are tied and bound by a desire to see Jarvis jump in the Lugg.
That really is all it is. Along the way some of our number have gone and some have emerged to pick up the slack and protest against what we all realise is wrong and to the detriment of our home Herefordshire.
As for me, this bloody imagination I have is a curse and one which I wouldn't wish on our nemesis Jarvis. Yes, I can deliver a great deal of drivel, tripe, rubbish and utter bloody nonsense but it really is of no real good other than to make fmrbill laugh at the moon as he struggles to restrain some Suffolk ewe who refuses to mate with his much prized ram on top of a windswept hill in Orcop.
All Im saying is, I am grateful for your kind comments but lets just keep some perspective here because if ever the editor of this Newspaper plucked me up from obscurity and handed me a box of diazepam and magnum of Moet I'd drop the lot of you like a stone and not give you a backward glance.
My very warmest regards to you all.

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dippyhippy says...
2:27pm Sat 2 Feb 13

Still think its a great idea - I think your feature should be called "A weekly dose of tripe and drivel". I really feel the good citizens of Hereford would benefit from your pearls of wisdom on a regular basis! I for one, think a cravat and smoking jacket would look very fetching,particularl
y when teamed with one of Grannys frocks !

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Dave The Dumbest says...
5:26pm Sat 2 Feb 13

Lets hope the new recruits know how to spell and maybe then we will have some news worthy of reading and not something that should be submitted to the Beano. Please note current HT jounalists the new ones may show you all for what you really are..

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littlewhitebull says...
1:00pm Sun 3 Feb 13

What is a lance writer? And what did they do to become imprisoned? Why should they need to be freed? Am I am missing something, other than a half-decent brain?

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bobby47 says...
3:45pm Sun 3 Feb 13

Littlewhitebull, Happily for you you've escaped the rapidly growing momentum and clamour to secure the release of young Laurence, a young lad known to his friends as Lance who, one day strayed off the moor, wandered into Hereford, fell down a pothole and consequently lost his grip on a cigarette that he had been dragging upon.
As a result the Council community safety team emerged from an observation point, handed poor Lance a fixed penalty ticket for smoking in a public place and depositing litter.
In his scramble to emerge from the hole, he stupidly shouted, 'get stuffed' and consequently the Constable was called, young Lance was gassed, taser'ed, handcuffed and brought before the Court where he aggravated his problem by saying,'I'd like to blow up that pot hole'.
The chain of events rapidly unfolded, took on a life of its own and some fool shouted,'lance means to bomb us'.
Understandably, those who administer us all law decided Lance was a threat to our national security and he's now languishing in a cell regretting the day he ever wandered off the moor to see what life was like in Hereford.
That then is the purpose of acquiring a number of writers to free young Laurence from his fifty year custodial sentence, his removal from the smoking offenders register and his right to be able to return to the moor and cuddle up to him Mom.

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littlewhitebull says...
12:27pm Mon 4 Feb 13

Bobby, a brilliant, precise and informative presentation of the real facts. I am no longer confused - why couldn't they have told this story so well in the first place?
Sire, thank you for bringing this outrageous injustice to light; I shall fight alongside you until Lance is freed.
Mind you, I'm still a member of the campaign to free the Inter-City 125.

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littlewhitebull says...
4:03pm Mon 4 Feb 13

May I offer ten tips for aspiring writers?
1. Contractions aren't necessary. Don’t use ‘em.
2. Remember to never split an infinitive.
3. Avoid ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
4. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
5. capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with a full stop
6. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
7. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
8. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
9. Avoid cliches like the plague. They're old hat; seek viable alternatives. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
10. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. Also, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.

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drewbreath says...
5:57pm Mon 4 Feb 13

The great advantage in appointing the top quality freelancer bobby47 the people's 'voice of reason' is that whenever something remotely controversial crops up such as how to reconcile the cuts demanded of Herefordshire services with the wage packets that have to implement them, instead of the entire news-desk of Herefordshire Times bearing the brunt and having to give up their coffee breaks in the hope of finding the right words to express themselves impressively the whole thing would be handed to bobby47 to sort out.

Tip 11 for aspiring writers: joined-up writing is in so lengthy paragraphs with no punctuation is de rigeur.

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dippyhippy says...
6:19pm Mon 4 Feb 13

Beautifully put, drewbreath! C'mon Bobby,give your public what they want! And as for you,littlewhitebull - well,words fail me. Is there an editorial position going?

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littlewhitebull says...
7:39pm Mon 4 Feb 13

Me, an editor, Dippyhippy? Well, I have got quite a decent hammer!

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bobby47 says...
10:28pm Mon 4 Feb 13

Our Editor, Fiona Phillips has stated, quite clearly, that she wants writers of Top Quality, which, consequently disqualifies each and everyone of us.
For we, the ranters and ravers of this site, are for from Top Quality.
In fact, we, collectively, are as far from Top Quality as any writer can hope to be and so I say this................
..I say, lower the crossbar. Cut the red tape and lower your expectations and admit any writer who can be best described as a bloody idiot and thus allow us through the door, onto a desk and sat in front of a bloody typewriter.
This model for selection would demonstrate to us that the Hereford Times was determined to enforce equal opportunity to those who were Top Quality and those that are completely useless and incapable of stringing together a written sentence that made any sense at all!
Thats the bloody trouble with this Country. An expectation of high standards or at the least, mediocrity. I say, give the dross and the under acheivers the opportunity to completely buggar it up.

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